View from the Green Room: The Bishop’s See - Des Bishop at Waterford's Theatre Royal
Des Bishop Lately at Theatre Royal
Well…Bishop is just drop-dead cool in his three-piece suit with the waistcoat buttons all done up and a charm that would disarm the hardest of traffic wardens' hearts. He’s funny, engaging and has a smile that would lift the despair of a bus queue on a windy wet Monday.
And he loves to remind all and sundry of his Déise connections.
A New Yorker who arrived in Ballygunner at the age of 12 and thought everyone around him was talking gibberish. He went to mass in Ballygunner with the singing priest who insisted on singing every line.
"I thought I would never escape," says he and then goes on to deduce that all the priests that sang at mass were gay! He gives an impromptu impression of the padre’s warbling and – guess what – the whole audience sings along. We’ve even got some altos harmonizing on Eagle’s Wings. Whew.
"So how’s it goin’ in Waterford?" he asks with that disarming big-as-a-bay smile. "Is everyone still unemployed?"
He wants to know if John’s Park had calmed down and if there’s anyone from Ballybeg or Farron Park in the audience?
Bishop’s heading for his Hawaii now. Born in 1975, he’s heading for fifty now and he’s taking stock. Particularly with all the Gen Zedders (lads born between 1997 and 2012) who really believe, in their hearts and souls, that no other generation has had it so hard. Mmmmm?
Des has got news for all the Zedders – his generation has had it tougher. Des’s Generation X had to deal with phone boxes (when they worked), two television channels, letters, no internet or email or privacy. And mothers who terrorised their sons.
“Hey” says he in faux-outrage “we couldn’t even use calculators because teachers told us that we wouldn’t have them in exams.”
Now they’re everywhere – on hands, in your pocket. What were all those tables about? And – to prove the point – shouts “Hey Alexa, what’s twelve times twelve? And…just for the record…like…who decided that the tables should stop at twelve?” (Just for the record…The practical reason is that we commonly use sets of numbers where being comfortable with multiplying and dividing by 12 is useful. For example: eggs are sold by the dozen, there are 12 months in the year, 24 hours in a day, 360 degrees in a circle, 12 inches in a foot, and so on…just sayin’ like…)
He’s got a Godchild staying in his house in Dublin who’s Generation Woke. Making money and paying bills isn’t exactly her forte. Still she – who lives rent-free in Des’s gaffe — rubbishes landlords as if they were the spawn of Satan.
She’s a tattooist with a “stick and poke” technique that brings arched eyebrows and knowing looks that speak of dodgy, erotic goin’s-on from the audience. Des assures us that it’s all above board although a furlong or two short of high-end art. Mmmm...
When a punter arrives for a tattoo – who must be addressed as “they” – the craic starts. It’s the Goddaughter’s eye-roll attitude that bugs him and sets him off on a rant that begins and ends with just who exactly “they” is – or …”are”…maybe. Still…you can feel Des’ soft spot for the freeloading Goddaughter who really believes the world is out to get her. He’s about to discover that dependence is a two-way street.
Bishop’s laid-back style and breath of original material makes it easy to like him. He’s a comic who is analytic in his approach and thinks about the art of comedy and its delivery. He notes his audience’s reaction and teases them when the laughs come a little late. I suspect that he constantly reworks his material.
He clearly loves Waterford and its audience who have packed the Royal for his Episcopal visit. It’s his Holy See.
