Fr Liam Power: The Spirituality of Ageing
Rather than raging against the dying of the light, it is a much gentler process of embracing the invitation to a greater fullness of life.
The ‘auld’ ego took a bit of a battering lately. I had prided myself on my fitness level and was effectively in denial about the ageing process (73 on my last birthday). But over the last few months, suddenly I began to experience rather ego-shattering episodes; colleagues passing me out and leaving me for dead on cycling trips; swimming times which were always poor, deteriorated drastically. Energy levels were diminishing, and I was tiring easily.
I was eventually diagnosed with Atrial Flutter, which means the cardiac rhythm was irregular. I had to take things easily for a few weeks to prepare for a cardioversion procedure, which regularises the cardiac rhythm. Thank God it was successful, and I'm back in action in the parish again. But it was a serious wake-up call for me to reflect on the spirituality of ageing, to accept I can no longer accomplish what was possible in an earlier age.
I thought of Dylan Thomas’ famous lines:
The poet is making a passionate plea to his father and indeed to all older people to resist surrendering to old age and death. There is a serious danger of misinterpreting Thomas’ words in today's culture, which idolises youth and fears old age. In my period of convalescence, I came to realise the enormous volume of research on the spirituality of ageing being undertaken today. Famous spiritual writers such as Ronald Rolheiser, Richard Rohr, and Joan Chittister have made huge contributions to research in this field. There is a common theme: old age is not just a period of decline but a season of ripening, or preparation for the fullness of life. It sounds paradoxical, but I have come to appreciate the profound wisdom in this approach to ageing.
Rather than the spiritual gurus, parishioners have been my primary teachers and mentors as they share their spiritual journey and their experience of negotiating physical decline and loss in the so-called ‘golden years’. Rather than raging against the dying of the light, it is a much gentler process of embracing the invitation to a greater fullness of life.
Parishioners don’t romanticise this period of life. Losses have to be faced with courage and resilience. Declining health, bereavement, reduced independence and very often loneliness are issues that are spiritually challenging. A person could end up feeling very embittered if these challenges are ignored.
I have listened to many people share their experiences of retirement. During the midlife years, their identity was shaped by their professional role, devotion to family life and security. People feel a need to prove themselves. There is often a profound sense of loss when, on retirement, the status of professional life is stripped away. Usually at this time, the children become independent, and the role of the parent dramatically changes.
However, many people experience a great freedom in being able to let go: let go of the need to prove themselves, or to impress others and to realise that their worth doesn't depend on what they are or what they have achieved. The achievements of earlier years are important, but the spiritual writers remind us that the final phase of life is gifted to us as a time of ripening, of realising our most authentic selves, to grow into “a fullness of life”. We have a graced opportunity to discover what really matters. As such, our elders have an indispensable role to play in our communities.
Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned from older parishioners and indeed from my own parents is the importance of presence. No longer consumed by schedules, deadlines, and ambitions, our elders have time for reflection and contemplation. Time slows for them. They have a great capacity to be truly present to others, to listen to their stories, to share the wisdom they have generated from the experience of life. Friendships are authentic and treasured. This life-giving presence is fuelled by a deep sense of compassion that elders develop, their appreciation for the moral complexities of life, and their having learned to be non-judgmental.
Elder parishioners have shared how much they cherish their relationship with grandchildren. I know how important that relationship is for the grandkids. The late Pope Francis constantly reminded us of the wealth of wisdom and counsel grandparents can offer to the younger generation. Our elders have experienced success and failure, love and disappointment, hope and grief. These experiences become a treasury from which the younger generation can draw. The active presence of grandparents also brings tenderness and great love, which truly enriches the lives of the grandchildren.
However, we should not romanticise old age. Losing mobility and independence, suffering cognitive impairment and declining health: all are spiritually challenging. Richard Rohr, sharing reflections from a Christian perspective, sees old age as a profound spiritual invitation: to learn to surrender, to let go, to trust God more deeply. A spirit of gratitude can then infuse the soul, and death itself becomes the final act of trust and surrender rather than defeat.
