Becoming aware of the epidemic of loneliness in Ireland

I was half listening to Claire Byrne on RTÉ Radio on Wednesday week last, August 28.

But when she introduced the topic of loneliness in Ireland, my attention was totally focused. I regularly encounter people for whom the pain of loneliness and isolation is acute and whose level of life satisfaction is very low. However, I had not realised that loneliness has been identified by The Loneliness Taskforce as “the public health crisis of this generation and that an epidemic of loneliness exists across Ireland". (The Loneliness Taskforce is a coalition of organisations who came together in 2018, to address the issue of loneliness in Ireland).

Claire Byrne’s guests, Professor Anne Kenny, Head of TILDA, (The Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing), Seamus Boland, CEO of ‘Irish Rural Link,’ and Anne Dempsey, Communications Manager for Seniorline (which provides a confidential listening service for older people) confirmed the findings published by the Taskforce.

While all different age groups can suffer the pain of loneliness, I find that older people, bereaved by the loss of a spouse and whose children are not resident locally, are particularly vulnerable. Their circle of friends may have been couple-based. So when their spouse died, they find they are not invited to social gatherings or parties. They feel very self-conscious going alone to the theatre or to a restaurant for a meal. Likewise when they attempt to holiday alone.

However, loneliness occurs across all age groups. Lone parents whose partners have deserted them can also feel cut off from supportive adult connections. I have spoken with adults who are trying to connect socially by joining a gym or swimming classes, etc. However, they can find it very difficult to make connections as existing members don’t reach out to welcome them.

Talking to some third-level students, I was very surprised to hear about their suffering from loneliness even though immersed in a buzzing student population. Some of these students were struggling in their course but rather than being supported by peers, they found themselves somewhat ostracised by the more intellectually gifted peers.

I have met with teenagers and young adults who are very committed to team sports and faithfully attend training sessions. But some never make the team; they may be included in the panel but they are never given game time. They say they feel excluded from the inner cohort and never succeed in bonding with their teammates.

However, the elderly experience more acutely, the pain of isolation and loneliness, particularly those living in rural areas. One person shared her story with the Taskforce on Loneliness: "Loneliness is isolation without friends in rural Ireland. I live in pure isolation at home, countryside, no friends, cannot go anywhere, no neighbours. It is 10 years since I was on a holiday (I went on my own and that was lonely, so never again) and over 20 years since I visited my local town at night-time. I would love to go for dinner in a restaurant but sitting there on my own would destroy me. No one goes out on their own….I just want to be loved but have no way of meeting anyone.” 

Loneliness can have a devastating impact on a person’s mental and physical health. Those who suffer from acute loneliness have very low life satisfaction and feel rejected and worthless. They can also suffer from a broad range of adverse psychological conditions, including anxiety and depression, and they are at an increased risk of heart disease. The TILDA study has found a significant correlation between loneliness and a ‘Wish To Die’ ideation which often results in suicide.

Much can be done to alleviate the pain of loneliness and isolation. Research such as that conducted by TILDA suggests that spirituality and religion can have a significant role in promoting well-being. The feeling of being part of something larger than oneself, connected with a higher power, can induce a positive effect, which in turn, can facilitate a more positive appraisal of one’s life and your place in it. Practices such as prayer and meditation can promote feelings of inner peace and hopefulness. Attending Mass can cultivate a sense of belonging, promote friendships and result in higher life satisfaction.

Parishes can promote the building up of social capital and social networks. In our parish, we have initiated an autumn programme of classes for parishioners and I have been heartened by the response to date. Classes in Art, Chair Yoga, Crochet and a ‘Ciorcal Comhra’ where people can put into practice their ‘cupla focail’ are about to commence. All classes are fully subscribed, and people are looking forward to gathering and meeting.

Parishes also can inspire a spirit of volunteerism whereby people give of their time and talent to support various ministries. Volunteers tell me how satisfying it is for them to minister to others. Volunteering helps people to re-engage socially and build up some social capital by increasing self-confidence and interpersonal skills.

We can all play a small part in overcoming the challenges posed by loneliness and to enable the building up of caring communities. Reaching out to others is a fundamental tenet of the Christian faith.