Man (20s) jailed for coercive control and threats to publish intimate images without consent

Sonya McLean

A man who moved into his partner’s home within weeks of first meeting her and forced her younger brother to move out has been jailed for two years for coercively controlling the woman, threatening to kill her and assault.

The 24-year-old man also threatened to publish intimate images of the then 20-year-old woman, and at one point, when she managed to move out of the house eight months later, he sent her almost 5,000 text messages over a four-day period.

The majority of these messages were abusive and threatening, in which he threatened to cut her head off and “show the whole of Facebook her vagina”. He had previously broken the woman’s nose during an attack, and in one of these messages he said: “I will do more than break your nose this time.”

The woman had previously suffered a miscarriage, and he told her during these messages that her “unborn child is happy it is gone from you – a shit person like you – your mother never even wanted you”.

He threatened to dance on her “fucking face” and told her he was going “to fuck you up”.

In relation to publishing the intimate image, he said it will “be everywhere” and “you will kill yourself”.

Sentence

On Friday, Mr Justice David Keane sentenced the man to four years' imprisonment with the final two years suspended on strict conditions.

Mr Justice Keane said he had careful regard to the probation report, and the most significant mitigating factor was the man's plea of guilty.

The judge said he was entitled to some credit for cooperating with the gardaí and admissions in interview and his letter of apology to the victim. Mr Justice Keane noted the victim does not wish to accept that apology.

Mr Justice Keane noted a reference from an employer who said he completed a trial period with him and was willing to offer him an apprenticeship on release.

The judge noted his personal circumstances and that he has further charges pending in the Circuit Court.

A probation report placed him at high risk of reoffending in relation to emotional abuse and coercive control.

A local detective told Eilis Brennan SC, prosecuting, that when they first met, the young woman was incredibly vulnerable, having suffered a significant bereavement.

The man moved into her rented home in Co Wexford within a few weeks and made it very difficult for her younger brother to live there, ultimately forcing the teenager to leave.

Over the course of their relationship, the man would pick her clothes, choose what foods she ate, would not let her eat pizza or cheese, called her fat, controlled her money and demanded money from her. She was responsible for the majority of the domestic bills while they lived together.

He pleaded guilty, having initially elected for trial, to assault causing harm, threats to kill or causing serious harm, coercive control and threats to publish intimate images without consent on dates between April 2022 and December 2022. Some of the charges fall under the Domestic Violence Act of 2018.

The man made some admissions to gardaí following his arrest when screenshots of his messages were put to him. He has no previous convictions.

Victim impact statement

The woman stated in her victim impact statement that she was vulnerable when she first met the accused. “I was not in the right place for dating,” she said. “He moved in and took over my house.”

“He didn’t like my brother and convinced me to kick my brother out. Shortly after the abuse started. He controlled what I ate and I drank. Controlled how I dressed and how I did my hair. He would undress me and dress me again,” she continued.

She said he controlled her phone and who she texted. She was not allowed to text without permission, and he followed her. She said she had to have her location on at all times.

“One day he thrashed my bedroom after he thought he had seen me with a guy,” she said.

She said on the day of the assault, she confronted him and told him he could not control her.

“He slapped me and then headbutted me. I fell on the floor and begged him not to hurt me. There was blood everywhere. He was begging me not to say anything and said he would not do it again,” she said.

He wouldn’t allow her to see a doctor. She said after that, she stayed indoors for two months.

“I felt violated, ashamed, disgusted with myself. He made me worthless,” the victim impact statement continued.

She said she has suffered nightmares, sleepless nights and has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. She has panic attacks and finds it difficult to leave the house.

She said the relationship impacted her “emotionally, physically and mentally”. “I don’t think I will ever get over what happened to me."

Letter of apology not accepted

The detective agreed with Colman Cody SC, defending, that his client had written a letter of apology, but that the woman is not willing to accept that letter.

He accepted that the man told gardaí that he was “hot-headed” and while he never sent the images, he accepted he had said he would. He said he was sorry for the way he behaved.

The man accepted in a garda interview that he had sent threatening messages, but claimed he would never have carried them out.

He told gardaí this is “a problem with myself that I have to fix”.

Mr Cody read the letter his client wrote into the record.

“I am writing this letter because I owe you a sincere apology,” he wrote.

He said it had been a difficult period in his life but acknowledged that was no excuse for his actions and said he took full responsibility for his behaviour.

“I am now committed to be being a better person,” he continued before he said he has “a strong desire to be a positive influence”.

“I wish you nothing but happiness and a life full of joy,” he said.

Mr Cody submitted to the court that the letter indicates his client’s “remorse and insight into his actions”.

“He accepts that they are threats and taunts and are designed to undermine her. There is no getting away from that, the messages speak for themselves,” Mr Cody said.

He acknowledged that the man was “jealous, possessive and controlling”.

Counsel said his client had “a very immature mindset” at the time to the relationship.

He said the man is in a new relationship and the couple are expecting their first child. Mr Cody said this woman is aware of the case against the accused.

Additional evidence

The detective told Ms Brennan that the man argued with the woman about her use of Snapchat and claimed it was “only for cheaters”. He wanted her to delete her social, and it angered him when she refused to do so.

She said he made it difficult for her brother to live in the house with them and would “freak out” about the mess her brother made. She said the first assault happened within days of her brother moving out of the house.

He tried to ban her from smoking and took her tobacco and skins. He slapped her across the face when she suggested he “cop on”. He headbutted her, and she felt like her nose was broken. He wouldn’t allow her to attend the doctor, took the house keys from her and locked her in the house.

She ultimately moved out in December 2022 and went to live with her mother. He begged her to move back and said he had missed her. It was then that he began sending her thousands of abusive and threatening messages – including the message threatening to publish an intimate image of her.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can contact Women’s Aid (24-hour freephone helpline at 1800-341 900, email helpline@womensaid.ie) or Men’s Aid Ireland (confidential helpline at 01-554 3811, email hello@mensaid.ie) for support and information.

Safe Ireland also offers a number of local services and helplines at safeireland.ie/get-help/where-to-find-help/. In the case of an emergency, always dial 999/112.